you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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