the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize