My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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