is your mom at the bar?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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