bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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