Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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