ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize