was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will be naked everywhere
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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