my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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