I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize