whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize