Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
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I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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