cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize