I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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