I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize