Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Your penis caused this!
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