dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
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I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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