so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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