Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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