Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize