I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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