I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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