Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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