you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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