I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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