why didn't you poke me back
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize