Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize