I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize