What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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