I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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