she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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