I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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