just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize