I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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