that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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