I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize