Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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