I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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