So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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