Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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