If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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