i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize