Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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