I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize