Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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