Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize