I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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