Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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