we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize