This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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