it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize