oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize